Your son at 12
Technically,
your son won't be a teenager for another year, but big changes start at 12.
That is why children at this age are called preteens or teenagers. Her world
expands on all levels: physical, mental, emotional and social. Buckle up, things
can get bumpy.
Who said that?
Why is
a male voice coming out of your child's mouth? Because his voice is getting
deeper. Facial and pubic hair will also begin to grow. At 12, puberty can be in
full swing. For some it starts earlier. For others, a little later. It's time
for deodorant, growth spurts and the emergence of sexual consciousness.
Everyone is different, so don't worry if your son is more or less mature at
this age.
Due to
puberty, he pays more attention to his body. He is more focused on his
appearance and clothing. He may show interest in going to the gym or start
exercising in his room.
He
also worries about what the other kids think of him. This can change the way he
acts and expresses his affection for you, especially in front of friends.
His
emotions change. He often goes from happy to sad, pleasant to rude, smart to
insecure. He may also feel more stressed because school work becomes difficult.
This
is because his brain can now process more complex thoughts. This is due to the
expansion of his vocabulary. He best expresses his feelings in words that you
can consider a blessing or a curse. He challenges his family's values and
sees the line between good and evil in a new way.
This
can be a confusing age for both of you as he starts to look and act like an
adult but doesn't have the same life experience and decision making skills.
Sometimes you both may need to remind yourself that he is still 12 years old.
Public
life is more important to him. At this point, peer pressure begins to seep in.
At 12, belonging is important to him, which means more independence from you
and more dependence on friends. Keep a close eye on how he uses the media: many
boys play online video games, so check your privacy settings and make sure that
no personal information is shared with other players.
Stay involved
Although
it may not seem like it, your love and acceptance is still important to him. He
can be moody and self-absorbed, which can lead to multiple reactions rather
than positive action from both of you. But he needs to know that you see him
for who he is and that you are there to support him as he discovers who he is
becoming.
Talk.
Ask questions. Listen. Be honest. This is especially important when it comes to
tobacco, alcohol, drugs and sex. What does he know about them? What does he
think of them? Without guilt or shame, share the dangers and consequences of
each, as well as your thoughts and feelings.
- Stay present in his life; don't fade into the background because that's what you think he wants.
- If he's showing interest in a new sport or hobby, encourage him.
- If he's putting in effort at home or school, offer up some praise.
- Be clear about your boundaries when it comes to grades, chores and screen time.
- When there's conflict, model healthy arguments by respecting his feelings and opinions.
Remember:
puberty can be a time of extreme mood swings. It is normal for him to feel sad,
but only for a short time. Depression lasts longer and manifests itself in a
variety of ways, including eating disorders and drug use.
Keep
track of what's happening at school. Get to know his friends. Talk to their
parents. Be aware of his grades and performance before the report card comes
home. Bad grades can mean anything from learning disabilities and behavioral
problems to a simple visit to the optometrist for new glasses or lenses.
And while it may seem like learning a foreign language, it's important to understand and monitor the forms of social media your son uses. Talk to him about how he presents himself online and how it might affect college admissions, future jobs, and more. Remind them that once an image or content is posted, the recipient can use it in different ways.