Your daughter at 16
She
can drive, dare to step outside the social scene, and tell an interesting
story, sometimes in that order. Your daughter is 16 and still needs your help.
This
article explains the physical and emotional milestones she will reach this
year, as well as the challenges she may face along the way.
Physical
Your
little girl is no longer a child. Her body is fully mature or will soon be
mature. She has curves and heftiness that go with her feminine look.
It's
time to talk about her values, as well as her plans for the future, which loom
closer than you think. Feel free to talk about sex, drugs and alcohol. They can
interfere with her plans for the future, as well as affect her body.
Social
You
might be surprised when your once very sociable butterfly starts to separate
from its clique, or at least show a more personal flair and point of view. She
still needs her friends, but will likely develop new interests that align with
her stronger self-esteem.
This
may lead her to look for a part-time job. As she declares her independence, you
may see her less often at home. As her hormones stabilize, you'll likely notice
that you have fewer conflicts when your paths cross.
Emotional
Your
sweet 16 has deeper emotions now. Her growing need for nurturing and sharing
leads to closer bonds, both friendly and romantic.
She
has a surer moral compass, or at least a firmer idea of what she thinks is
right and wrong. She backs her choice with a firmer stance.
Sixteen
can also be tinged with sadness or depression. It can also confuse you. This
can lead to problems both inside and outside the school. If her sadness seems
excessive or doesn't go away, see a mental health professional.
Language
Your
daughter's big world requires more advanced language skills. They are crucial
not only for the school, but also for communicating with other people. Here are
some of the changes you can expect in 16 years:
She
tells and writes fascinating and colorful stories. She is better at explaining,
describing, summarizing and arguing. Her academic workload is more demanding on
the language.
- Her sense of understanding intensifies. She listens to the verbal and body language of others and reads facial expressions.
- She knows that her language has to move from school to other environments, and easily switches between them.
If she struggles with these important life skills, a speech therapist can help her gain confidence and set her on the right path.
Possible traps along the way
Your
16-year-old can excel in most areas of her life, but watch out for some things
that might confuse her.
Body image
Many
teenage girls are obsessed with their size, type, and weight. If your daughter
is severely overweight, not only will she face health problems such as diabetes
and high blood pressure, but her social life and self-esteem may also suffer.
Here are some ways to help her cope:
- Remind her that there is no ideal weight or body size for everyone. Ask her doctor to help her set healthy goals based on her own body and age.
- Avoid shortcuts like fad diets and weight loss products that block good nutrition.
- Encourage her to exercise every day for an hour. Encourage her to do something she enjoys, like dancing or going hiking. Go there when you can.
Peer pressure
Your
daughter is getting more and more confident, but there will always be
questionable situations. Encourage her to stay with other kids who resist peer
pressure and distance herself from those who use temptation or risky behavior
to prove their friendship.
Help
her find ways to avoid or get out of situations that seem to go wrong. Also find other adults she can call.
Bullying
Ganging
up on the weak is nothing new, but with all of today's technology, it's getting
more insidious and brutal than ever. With girls it's often verbal. Your
daughter may not see this as often on school grounds or at hangouts as she does
on social media and on her smartphone. Electronics can amplify bullying in a
way that is difficult to control.
Teach
her that the best thing to do is talk to the school psychologist, teacher, or
administrator. If she has been the victim of a bully, a teen mental health
professional can help her deal with it, trace it to its source, and lessen the
emotional impact it has on later life.
Staying safe
Social
media can be both a gift and a curse. This is a great way for your teenager to
meet new people and find those who share their interests. This gives her a
forum to express herself and give her opinion. But the trouble is, she can't be
sure who's watching. Try these things to help her stay safe online:
-Help her control her personal information and
restrict access to people she doesn't know or can't find.
-Show her that all messages and texts can be broadcast
by speakers to the whole world.
- Make it a rule that, like other friends she wants to
hang out with, she should introduce you to the people she plans to meet
offline.
Safety in Motion
Car
crashes remain the most likely cause of an accident among teenagers her age.
Never stop repeating that she must follow all traffic and safety rules, whether
she is driving or riding.
Insist
that she wear a helmet or other protective gear for cycling or mountain biking
and other sports.
Emotional support
Your
teen may act like she doesn't need you, but she does and she knows it.
Strengthen your bond with your 16 year old by doing the following:
- Show interest in their daily lives, both at school and outside of it. Encourage her to speak up, volunteer, or join a cause she believes in.
- Let her know that her victories and efforts are important to you.
- Take their concerns and opinions seriously. It also gives you insight into new patterns and behavioral changes.
- If she seems sullen or unusually sad, feel free to ask her about thoughts of harming herself or killing herself. Mentioning this will not make it more likely that this will happen. Seek professional help immediately if she needs it.