Your daughter at 13
As
your daughter enters adolescence, there will be many changes, both physical and
emotional, for her. Here's an overview of where your 13 year old is at and what
you can do to help.
Language
If
your daughter prefers texting over talking, don't be surprised. Girls entering
adolescence may be less social, at least with you. But she will tell you her
opinion.
At 13,
girls understand better what to say in certain situations. They also begin to
focus on body language and tone of voice rather than just what is being said.
How
can you help:
- Look for good
moments to talk.
Chat while you're in the car or cooking together in the kitchen.
- Find new ways to
attract her out.
Instead of asking, "How was your day?" " tell me something about
yourself. You can also invite her to tell you something bad, funny, or weird
that just happened to her.
- Don't forget to
listen. When
your girlfriend is ready to open up, be ready to stop what you're doing and
give her your full attention.
Physical development
At the
age of 13, many girls go through puberty. A huge shift in hormones results in
fuller breasts, wider hips and pubic hair. Your daughter's skin and hair will
begin to produce more sebum, and her height, weight, and body fat will
increase. Most girls also start menstruating.
Because
of all these body changes, your daughter may become embarrassed about her
appearance or the clothes she wears.
How
can you help:
- Encourage your
daughter to be active.
She doesn't have to play a team sport. Walking the dog, helping out in the
yard, or playing laser tag with friends also counts.
- Eat meals as a
family. This
will help her make healthy food choices.
- Limiting screen
time.
Girls this age should spend no more than 2 hours a day in front of a screen.
- Be a good role
model. If
you often say you're fat or complain about how you look, your daughter may
start doing the same. Teach her that being strong and fit is more important
than being a certain size.
Social
Fitting
has never been more important to your daughter than it is today. Because of
this, she is more likely to spend more time with her friends.
While
girls develop a strong sense of right and wrong at this age, peer pressure can
still be a problem. Usually 13 year olds want to test their limits by trying
risky behaviors. That's why, no matter how big your daughter is, she still
needs support and guidance.
How
can you help:
- Offer support. If your daughter knows she can
talk openly and honestly with you, she is more likely to come to you with
problems.
- Stay on top of
social networks.
Make sure you know what sites your daughter uses and that you approve of them.
- Make sure she
knows about the risks of drug use. The need to feel grown up or adjust to life can lead
girls to drink, smoke or try drugs. Talk to your daughter about the dangers of
this.
- Talk about sex. Your daughter needs to have the
right information so she can make the right choice. As well as sharing your
values about sex, be sure to talk about safe sex and sexual abuse.
Emotional
Although
she is becoming more and more independent, your daughter probably has mixed
feelings about "breaking up" with you. Don't be surprised if one
minute she wants to talk to you, and the next she becomes rude or angry.
Girls
of this age also often oscillate between feeling good and self-doubt. The good
news is that at this age, most girls are able to put their feelings into words.
How
can you help:
- Keep her included and involved. Your daughter should be involved in family decisions, activities and events. Your continued support means a lot to her, even if she doesn't show it.
- Reassure her. Remind your daughter that the
changes she is going through are an integral part of her growth. She should not
be ashamed or embarrassed.
- Help her earn her
own money. At
13, your daughter can babysit dogs or walk dogs for a neighbor. Working for her
own money will give her some of the freedom she dreams of and teach her to be
more responsible.
Academic
Girls
at this age acquire a lot of knowledge by reading, writing and observing
others. Many also begin to show an increased interest in a particular topic.
Your
daughter is also becoming a deeper thinker, able to understand concepts and not
just specific things. She is also able to think things through and see things
from other people's point of view.
How
can you help:
- Stay informed. Attend teacher conferences and
open houses at her school to learn about her work.
- Make a homework
schedule. Set
start time every night. Make sure she has a quiet, well-lit area in your home
so she can do her job. If she needs help, let her know that she can come to
you.
- Help keep track
of her time.
Being organized is a huge skill that your daughter probably has yet to master.
Help her find ways to stay up to date on homework and class projects.
- Know the signs of a learning disability. These include reluctance to write or read aloud, difficulty solving word problems, and slow memory of facts. If you see them for a long period of time, talk to your daughter's teacher.