When can children stay at home alone?

Does the thought of leaving your preteen “home alone” for the first time remind you of scenes from the movie of the same name? Can you imagine video game marathons, junk food parties, and toy tornadoes ravaging your home?

Trusting your children with your home and all its contents is enough to make any parent think, especially during that gray period between 9 and 12 years old, when they are no longer babies, but not yet teenagers individually (hence the term "teens").

Your fears are justified, but there are real benefits to leaving teens at home alone or looking after younger siblings. First, you encourage a sense of responsibility. And, secondly, you may have the opportunity to go out to dinner with your spouse without children.

So how do you know what age to leave your teenager at home? And when are your kids old enough to start babysitting? Experts say the answers to these questions depend on your child's maturity and your situation.

Here are some things to consider before handing over the house - and your other children - to your teen.

Maturity control

For most parents, it is quite obvious that a 5-year-old child is too small to be left at home alone. But what about an 11 or 12 year old?

Most experts say that at age 10 or 11, it's okay to leave your child alone for short periods of time (less than an hour) during the day, as long as he's not afraid and you think he's old enough to handle it. But you can wait another year or two before leaving them alone for the night.

Consider the following factors when deciding to leave your child at home alone:

Do you live in a quiet rural or residential neighborhood?
Does the area have a low crime rate?
Do you have an alarm system? Does your tween know how to operate it?
Can your child understand and follow basic rules, like locking the door after coming inside and not opening it for strangers?
Has your child shown good judgment in past situations?
Do you have friends, family members, or neighbors who can get to your house quickly in case of an emergency?
Has your tween shown signs of responsibility in the past? Examples include finishing homework on time without having to be asked and doing chores around the house.
Is your preteen comfortable with the idea of staying home alone?

House rules

If you answered yes to most or all of these questions, your teen may be ready to be home alone. Before you leave for the first time, set up some basic house rules that cover different situations:

What to do if the doorbell rings
What to do if the phone rings
Is it good to have friends, and if so, how many friends can come
What kinds of snacks can they eat
Time limits for watching TV or computer or video games, as well as a list of allowed programs and games.

Preparing a tween for babysitting

Some children reach maturity to start babysitting at the age of 12 or 13. Others prefer to wait until they are older.

Before you allow your teen to babysit, make sure that any babysitter you consider hiring has the same qualifications. Any future nanny should be:

Responsible
Mature
Able to make good decisions
Able to follow the rules
Comfortable handling authority without abusing it
Able to calmly handle any emergency or other problems that arise

Consider making your teen a mother or father helper. This will allow you to be in control while your tween is learning to care for a child.

Prepare your home for your tween

Make your home as teen-friendly as possible so you don't have to worry so much about leaving your child alone or babysitting your little sibling when you leave the house.

For example, make a list of emergency phone numbers, including:

Your cell phone
Family members who live nearby
Neighbors
Your pediatrician
Poison control
The local police and fire departments
Panic button on the alarm system

Other suggestions include:

Discuss what to do in case of an emergency such as a fire, power outage, or bad weather.
Keep a first aid kit full of bandages, wound disinfectant and other supplies and teach your teen how to use it.
Make sure all smoke detectors and telephones in your home are working.
Leave flashlights and fire extinguishers in easily accessible places. Teach your tween when and how to use a fire extinguisher.
Fill your fridge with enough healthy food and snacks to keep your teen alive until you get home. Food without heat is easier to cook. If you need to cook something, show your child how to use the microwave, stove, and other necessary household appliances.
Make sure you have parental filters installed on your TV and computer.
Hide everything you don't want to end up in your tween's hands. This includes prescription drugs, alcohol, firearms, tobacco, and lighters.

A trial run

Before letting your teen stay at home alone or babysit, discuss or role-play a few different scenarios, such as:

"A stranger is ringing the doorbell. What do you do?"
"The fire alarm is going off. What do you do?"
"The power goes off. What do you do?"
"Your sister is throwing a temper tantrum. What do you do?"

Keep your first trip as short as 30 minutes to an hour. When you get back, tell your teen how things went at home. Talk about any issues or concerns that come up. If the workout went well, gradually increase the length of your absence.

Whenever you leave your home, make sure you are easily accessible on your cell phone. If you feel the need to check in, keep those calls or texts to a minimum to show confidence in your child and so you can enjoy your free time.