Mistakes parents make with preschoolers

At times, your preschooler may seem to have an innate ability to push your patience to the limit. And it's a good day.

Don't be afraid mom and dad. You are not alone. Preschoolers want to take responsibility for their newfound independence. But they also want the attention and love of their caregivers.

This age (3-5 years) is one of the most active and frustrating in terms of parenting.

Here are eight common mistakes parents of preschoolers make and some smart solutions to avoid or fix problems.

Too far from routine

If you don't follow a daily routine, preschoolers get confused and may act up more or throw more tantrums. "If sometimes you let them do things and sometimes you don't, they don't understand."

Your child probably wants to know why the last time mom let him play in the playground 10 minutes after school, but this time she wants him to immediately get into the car. Or why her mother lay with her for 10 minutes last night when she fell asleep, and now she says she can't.

Fix it: Be consistent in all areas, be it discipline, sleep patterns, or dietary patterns.

If your routine is consistent 90% of the time and your child is doing well, then so are you, and a slight exception may be fine.

Focusing on the negative

It's easy to focus on your child's negative activities, such as yelling and yelling, and ignore the good ones.

Parents tend to focus on what they don't want their preschoolers to do. “They will say: “Don’t hit. Do not throw.”

Fix it: notice when your child does something good and reward him for good behavior.

Positive actions can be rewarded with praise, a hug, or a kiss from a child. “Things like this really mean a lot to preschoolers,”

Tell your child, "I love the way you sit quietly and listen," or "It was nice when you were so friendly with the kid on the playground."

Missing warning signs

Parents often try to reason with their children when they have a tantrum, repeating: "Calm down, calm down." But it's like trying to reason with a goldfish: “You have power just before you can still distract or anticipate. But as soon as the crisis reaches its peak, you lose it. The baby can't hear you.”

Fix it: Identify and anticipate your child's natural warning signs. The most common are hunger, fatigue and boredom.

So don't take your child to the supermarket unless he's taking a nap or you've stashed a healthy snack in your purse.

Encouraging whining

Does your baby's crying drive you crazy? For example, does it annoy you when, shortly before dinner, when you are about to eat, your child starts crying: “I want to go to the park” or “I want to go play with John.

Parents often succumb to this whining, but it only adds to the attention. Your child will know which buttons to press and then press them again and again.

"This is the age when your kids come out of their shell", "Be careful, because they are discovering what works."

Fix it: Ignore.

Unless the behavior is aggressive, such as whining or pouting, you're better off not reacting to it at all. If you are consistent, your child will think, "Well, that didn't work."

Overscheduling your child

Parents often organize many activities, such as dance or music lessons. Then they wonder why their child doesn't go to bed and fall asleep immediately after so many activities that must have exhausted him.

The problem is that they are always insuring themselves and they need time to calm down. Every child needs rest, especially preschoolers. Whether your child is in preschool for two hours or all day, it can be very tiring.

Fix it: Don't overload your child's schedule or move them from one activity to another. Give your child some time to relax by playing for free when he comes home from school.

Underestimating the importance of the game

Many parents feel that they should enroll their children in developmental programs to give them an edge. But it is not so.

The most enjoyable thing at this age is free play. This includes dramatic acting (pretense), rough living and tomfoolery.

"Free play is the best way to develop a child's brain." “During the game, children will naturally set themselves the right tasks - not too easy and not too difficult.”

Fix it: Give your child time and space to play freely. Remember that preschoolers define play as "what you do when you choose what to do."

Free choice - the voluntary aspect of the game - is important. “Preschoolers love to vacuum or clean up, but this is a game. It's not on their to-do list. They decided to do it and they do it just for fun.”

Getting distracted by the daily grind

Your child may play well on his own, but that doesn't mean he doesn't need your attention. "There's something kids miss out on if parents don't sit down and play with them."

Not only do parents not enjoy themselves, many parents are too easily distracted by cell phones, email, or other multi-tasking tasks. "Children are not stupid." "They know if we're really paying attention or not."

Fix it: set a timer, get excited and stay involved while playing with your child.

"Half an hour of focused play when you're giving your full attention and not worrying about lunch or work is better than an entire day when you're only half focused."

Overreacting to lies

Lying really pisses off parents. He encourages parents to view behavior as an experience and not as a "moral thing".

"When kids start to lie, that's a big cognitive breakthrough." “It's a little exciting and a little scary. It carries an emotional charge. worries about it."

Fix it: don't overreact. Know that a lie or two is part of your child's normal development.

And don't dwell on the lies themselves. For example, if your little Pinocchio denies having anything to do with the spill, you can say in a neutral tone, "You feel bad about this, and I understand."

Effective parenting takes time, patience and love. It should also be remembered that change cannot happen overnight. But as the old saying goes: “If you don’t succeed the first time, try, try again.”